


Inevitable Victory

by madridistagoblue



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Crack, Gen, Humor, Teikou Era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-17
Updated: 2015-04-17
Packaged: 2018-03-23 08:35:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3761785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/madridistagoblue/pseuds/madridistagoblue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Teikou's Generation of Miracles are unaccustomed to defeat. But only one victor can emerge when they play each other in a round of Super Smash Brothers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Inevitable Victory

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ignite_pass_tetsuya](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ignite_pass_tetsuya/gifts).



> Dedicated to my friend, tumblr user ignite-pass-tetsuya.

"I don't want to play. I just want to eat my snacks," Murasakibara whined as he dug his hand into the bag of chocolate candy eggs.  Momoi had brought the team two packages as a treat -- one of which was shared among the remaining members of the first-string, and the other of which was held captive by the tall purple-haired teen. 

Before he could protest further, a black Wii U controller was forced into the center's line of sight. With a pouty growl, Murasakibara looked up at the person standing in front of him, attempting to rope him into the game. His former captain looked down on him with a visible look of irritation. "We agreed that all eight of us would play this round," the dark-haired teen said, gently bumping the controller against the hand Murasakibara was using to pick out new pieces of chocolate. "Right, captain?" He shifted his gaze towards a chair in the center of the semi-circle they had formed around the TV, eventually locking eyes with the bearer of his former title.

"Yes, Nijimura-san," Akashi Seijuurou confirmed, his ruby eyes shifting from his senior towards the first-string center. "Murasakibara-kun," he stated, "we are not merely here to play games. Today's activity is meant to be an exercise in team bonding. I expect full participation." On command, and without further hesitation, the purple-haired teen grabbed the controller away from Nijimura with one hand.  (His other hand was still holding the bag of chocolate eggs.) The dark-haired former captain smiled, returning to his seat and picking up his own GameCube controller.

"Now," Akashi continued, "for the last game, I told Nijimura-san that he could determine the rules. This will be the final round before we adjourn." The red-haired captain now locked his eyes on the television, running his cursor slowly over each character in the selection list as he began to strategize for the upcoming round.

"Alright then," Nijimura chuckled lightly. "Everyone plays as jigglypuff. 300% handicap. 10 lives each. The only move you can use is rest. Bombs only."

"Where's the fun in that?" Aomine grumbled from the far left corner of the semi-circle. "I was hoping for all Captain Falcon or something. Jigglypuff's boring."

"So mean, Aominecchi!" Kise whined from the seat next to the tanned power forward. Without hesitation, he placed his cursor on jigglypuff and began to search through its accessories. "Look how cute it is!"

"Like I care," Aomine retorted with a scoff.

"Dai-chan," Momoi scolded from her seat next to Kise. "You're missing the point! This should actually be a very interesting game, tactically. Rest will kill any opponent instantaneously, but if you don't time it correctly, you'll fall asleep and be at risk yourself." 

"The lucky color for Cancer today is pink," Midorima interjected suddenly and unexpectedly from the other side of the room. "Surely, this assures that I will win this round."

"No way!" Kise countered. "I'll win!"

"Yeah, right," Aomine chided. "You haven't won a single game today."

"SO MEAN!" Kise repeated, more loudly this time, eyes locked on the boy to his left.

"Shut up and chose your jigglypuffs, already," Nijimura groaned exasperatedly, shooting another look at Akashi. "Besides," he smiled, "I chose the rules. I'm going to win this time anyway."

"Nijimura-san," Akashi said, looking his predecessor squarely in the eye. "I wish you the best. But I'm afraid that my victory is inevitable."

Nijimura suppressed a laugh and averted his eyes from the captain's serious red stare.

"When do we start? I'm bored," Murasakibara whined, just before the final player selected the last customization of jigglypuff by default.

"Now," Akashi stated, pushing down on the start button and popping up the stage select.

Player 6 chose the omega format and hit the randomization button.  In an instant the pokémon stadium appeared on the screen as the announcer readied the game. Then, it began.

Within seconds, each of the jigglypuffs had used rest, leaving most asleep, one active, and two tossed instantly off the stage.

"I lost a life already!" Kise whined.

"Me too," Murasakibara grumbled. "Who was that?"

"Me," Midorima affirmed. "I told you that luck was on my side."

"Aaah, Dai-chan!" Momoi complained as her character was tossed off screen. "You just threw a bomb at me!"

Aomine laughed in reply.

"Shit!" Nijimura yelled as his jigglypuff ran into one of the bombs while trying to avoid other players.

The screen became a blur of red lights as the fluffy pokemon were blasted away one-by-one. The TV bellowed the twin sounds of explosions and jigglypuffs falling asleep.

"I only have five lives left!" Kise interjected dejectedly again.

"We all only have five or six lives left Ki-chan," Momoi responded with a cutting edge to her voice.

"Kuroko-kun has nine," Akashi added, suddenly.

"What!?" multiple voices cried at once.

"You're right," Aomine muttered. "Let's gang up on Tetsu."

"I'll crush you Kuro-chin," Murasakibara threatened, moving his jigglypuff over towards the blue-haired shadow's for a rest.

"I'll show you, Kurokocchi!" Kise added, his mopey tone forgone for a more challenging timbre.

"How have you managed to lose so few lives?" Midorima asked, with a hint of anger.

"It was simple," Kuroko replied with eyes still focused on the game. He sighed lightly as his jigglypuff was tossed quickly from the stage by three incoming bombs.  "While the rest of you try and use rest, but ultimately get hit by each other and the bombs, I use no moves. I just float across the stage."

"You mean you're using your misdirection even in Smash Bros!" Kise marveled.

"Well he's not misdirecting anyone anymore," Aomine replied as he threw another bomb at Kuroko.

Meanwhile, Murasakibara attempted to use rest on Midorima's jigglypuff, but fell asleep instead. The green-haired shooting guard took advantage of the situation to send off the center's final life.

"Guess we have our first player out," Midorima confirmed.

"First two," Aomine snickered, as his own jigglypuff snuck up on Midorima's with another bomb.

"Or three," Nijimura growled angrily, slamming one fist on his leg while the other hand tightened around his GameCube controller.

"And I'm on my last life," Kise sighed. "I'm surprised I lasted so long. But, hey, we must all almost be out now, right? Even Kurokocchi only has three lives left."

"Akashi-kun has five and I have four," Momoi replied.

"Hey! Since when did Aomine get quiet?" Nijimura snapped. "He still has eight!"

"Huh!?" Momoi nearly shirked. "Tetsu-kun!" she implored the phantom sixth-man. "Help me take out Dai-chan! You too, Ki-chan! Akashi-kun!"

"Ha!" Kise laughed as he suddenly landed a perfect rest next to Aomine.

Aomine reached over and shoved Kise in real life. The blonde pouted, but was too enthralled in the game to properly respond.

A number of casualties resulted in the seconds that followed. One by one each player fell -- Kise, then Momoi, and, finally Kuroko -- before just two remained.

Surprisingly, by the time the final showdown had emerged, Aomine, once the clear leader, was down to four lives, while Akashi was nearly tied at three.

It quickly became clear how both had managed to survive for so long. Aomine did his best to avoid Akashi, never staying in one place for too long and snatching bombs as they fell onto the stage to use as projectiles.

Akashi, on the other hand, stayed in place, moving occasionally as necessary, and popped up his shield whenever something threatening approached. The two remaining jigglypuffs did a strange dance around each other, avoiding one another cautiously, before a bomb dropped onto the stage. Aomine snatched it immediately and threw it at Akashi, who triggered his shield with perfect timing. The bomb exploded, but harmed no one. The next time around, Aomine was less lucky, falling victim to his own planned attack, while Akashi continued to time his shield with pin-point accuracy. The game was now tied.

"Alright!" Kise shouted.

"You can do it, Akashi-kun," Kuroko stated calmly.

"Oi, Tetsu! Not you too!" Aomine growled, as he continued in vein to try and attack Akashi's jigglypuff. He managed to pry another life off the captain's character, only to fall victim to the next bomb while his jigglypuff was asleep. "Why are you all rooting against me now?"

"You told everyone to gang up on me when I had nine lives," Kuroko explained. "But you still had nine lives yourself."

"Hey!" Momoi yelled angrily at Aomine. "That's not fair!" She looked back at the intensifying play. "Akashi! Akashi!" she began to chant. Her childhood friend scoffed.

"Come on, Akashiiiiiiicchi!" Kise encouraged his captain. Two more explosions, and each player was down to their final life. This was it. The next to fall would be the loser and the winner would claim his victory.

Akashi Seijuurou sat upright, eyes glued to the television. He had the momentum and the crowd on his side and could feel victory inching closer every second. In all of the chaos earlier in the game, he had managed to move around mostly unnoticed. Not to the extent that Kuroko had remained unseen before Akashi had alerted the other players to his presence, but the captain's skilled use of shielding had essentially negated the difference. Kuroko had been right. Not using any moves was the smartest way to play. Akashi kept his fingers firmly over the joystick and the L and R buttons. Using rest was strategically unsound, no matter how tempting the move was. Now, though, he'd likely have to attack. Perhaps, the captain thought, he would wait for a bomb. He shielded and jumped from Aomine's jigglypuff, trying to keep to his own corner. He was waiting for the perfect opportunity to strike.  A bomb appeared on the right side of the stage. It was time to move.

That's when Aomine made a fatal error. Underestimating Akashi's skillful timing, he gambled on trying use a rest, falling asleep to Akashi's left side.  The room gasped.

"Well done, Akashi," Midorima congratulated the captain prematurely.

"It's over now," Nijimura agreed.

"You've got this Aka-chin," Murasakibara encouraged him.

Akashi grinned. This was it. All he had to do was deliver the final blow. Perhaps too caught up in the moment, he went over to the bomb, ready to pick it up and throw it at Aomine, taking out the power forward with his own game. (Surely, Kise would also approve.) This would be over in three, two…

That's when the bomb exploded.

"Akashicchi!" Kise yelled in horror.

"A-Akashi-kun!?" Momoi gasped.

"WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!?" Nijimura scolded his younger charge.

Akashi stared at the TV, red eyes widening in horror, before collapsing in on himself, head falling to his knees without saying a word. He dropped the Wii U controller on the ground.

"And the winner is…jigglypuff!" the announcer affirmed as the other players reached back for their controllers to cancel out, eyes still looking mostly towards the captain, who remained sunk towards the ground. He continued to stare blankly ahead from the shock.

"I…can't believe it," Akashi muttered to the ground. "I…I…"

"Akashi…" Midorima asked, approaching the captain's side. "Are you alright?"

"I can't believe you _lost_ that," Nijimura quipped, emphasizing the word the Teikou captain least wanted to hear.

As most of the first-string members quickly gathered around their leader in alarm, Aomine sat still in his chair on the other side of the room.

He looked up at the screen, still declaring him the winner, and sighed. He didn't deserve that victory. He had all but delivered the final blow upon himself, and yet somehow he had come out on top.

"It's no use," he muttered quietly to himself, while the others were still distracted. "I guess no one really can beat me."

He never turned around to see the hint of concern and sadness etched on Kuroko's face as he listened to his light's words…

 

**Author's Note:**

> Interestingly enough, this is based on a true story. Some university clubmates and I played Smash with these very rules, and it panned out more or less as written. Embarrassing as it is to admit, I was the one in Akashi's place (using "Akashi" as my player name, which, in turn, inspired this story.) I still can't believe I lost...


End file.
